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The door chime sounds above you as you step in. Your blink to a dim space, lit only by flickering candles hung on the mahogany wooden walls. As soon as you breathe in, the scent of rich coffee infiltrates your senses, and a feeling of calm eases into your body.
Patrons sprinkle around the place, some warming their hands in front of the fireplace in the back; others spread around the tables, parchments unfurled and books open in front of them; still others lounge in the corner mats, cradling small steaming cups. A girl looks up from behind the counter, her short curly hair wild as she tries to tame it back with a hand, and smiles warmly at you. “Selam…”
I’m so glad you could make it to my little café. Some of you have come from Twitter or Instagram. Most of you have come even farther away from TikTok, when you put down your emails months and months ago (I’m finally putting the google form to good use, are you proud of me?) However you’ve gotten here, I want to welcome you to a place I hope will be warm, fulfilling, and eye-opening.
I hope to use this newsletter to document my writing process, my works-in-progress, my publishing journey, current reads & loves, travels, and just me trying (and likely failing) to figure out life and my 20s. I’m going to try to be as honest as I can without jeopardizing my career (publishing can be hush-hush sometimes, unfortunately), my safety, or your comfort.
To get to know y’all, and to personalize this newsletter best, can you answer 2 polls for me, please?
life and whatnot
I’m a senior in college.
I’m. A senior. In college?
What?
I’m not sure how it happened; maybe it’s because COVID felt like it fast-forwarded the last two years (even though during those lockdown days I felt like it would never end), but I don’t feel like a fourth year at all.
I was premed for three years before I realized spring of my junior year that I do not want to go into the medical field. When we’re young, I think we become infatuated with an idea, a career, a goal, and it’s hard to come to terms with those things not being what we’d envisioned. The truth is the medical field is physically grueling and mentally brutal; there’s not enough (legal, health, or otherwise) protection for students or residents. I eventually came to the conclusion I don’t love the field enough to sacrifice my body and mind in some of its best years (no matter how good the $ could be).
The other truth is that even though most people enter this field wanting to help people, it’s difficult to come to terms with the fact that you might not be able to because of the social and political powers at play (bureaucracy, insurance issues, communities systematically disenfranchised)—things that would be out of my control, but would still feel like my failing.
Even knowing it was the best decision, it was difficult for me to accept for months. I mean I’ve been wanting this for almost ten years! I took the requirements! My dad calls me Dr. Tsige! How could I just…drop it? Who am I if not this?
Who are we without the stories we’ve told ourselves?!
Now, I’ve worked that out (mostly), I’m relieved that I crossed out one other thing from my potential future…and even more lost because what then?
Good news: I’m applying to a few fellowships right now for post-grad year: one is an open-ended program and I’ll be proposing to travel to Ethiopia and study mythology and fables there (cool, right!); the other is funding to get a masters in creative writing at Oxford University or Cambridge University (imagine, omg).
I won’t find out if I’m accepted into any of them until early 2023, but keep me in your good thoughts, friend.
on writing and not writing
I have three WIPs at the moment, each that should probably be dedicated to their own newsletter because it would otherwise be too long. But because I know some hundreds of you are from TikTok since seeing my posts about the villain fantasy, let’s talk about that one today.
Although its official name is THE LOST ISLES, I call it my comfort fantasy, and comfort really is what it is.
There are a lot of things I’ve learned about myself over the last few years, and one of them is (*whispers*) I don’t enjoy fantasy as much as I enjoy contemporary. Quite a bummer really, because fantasy sells really fricking well. Even when editors and others claim the genre is oversaturated (not doubting that), a big portion of big advances to YA debuts are still fantasy & science fiction.
If you’re interested in more data about advance $ in publishing, please take a look at this beautiful spreadsheet called #PublishingPaidMe, a campaign organized by LL McKinney during the summer of 2020.
I digress (advances and payment in publishing is another topic for another time). At this point, some of you might be looking at me suspiciously, raised brow and all maybe. Does it make me less of a “true” writer because I want to make money off of it? I hope not. I want to tell good stories and write great literature; I also want to get paid. Not just paid even, paid enough, to live off of and reassure my immigrant parents that I won’t spend my whole life struggling.
Now, coming back to the fantasy genre, I’ve had some people ask me why I’m writing a genre I don’t love reading in. It’s a very fair question. I’ve thought on it a lot and I’ve come to this conclusion:
I think (and please don’t crucify me for this), fantasy can and does get away with having a lower caliber of writing, because often, plot and exciting magic systems can fill up that lack. I’ve noticed this more in recent years as my taste is changing since early teens, and it’s put me off a lot of popular fantasy.
Now, there are tons of fantasy books with amazing writing, and…I still don’t like them; at that point, it’s just me. But I’ve realized there are certain subgenres I still love. Magical realism? Yes, please please please. One Hundred Years of Solitude is in my top 5 all-time favorite books. Low fantasy? Dystopian fantasy? Dark fantasy? All good. I talk about The Ballad of Black Tom in the last section of this newsletter, a recent read of mine I loved and which can be categorized as dark fantasy.
And then there’s the type of fantasy that I would 100%—1000%—pick up if I could find it, except that it’s non-existent: Ethiopian fantasy. God, I would love some Ethiopian fantasy. Please. There’s only one book I know of that has this and that’s WITHIN THESE WICKED WALLS by Lauren Blackwood—she’s not Ethiopian, but the book is lovely still and I cherished each page of that book.
So yes, while contemporary is (so much) faster for me to write and easier for me to read, there are still a lot of fantasy sub-genres I love now. I think I keep getting fooled into thinking I don’t like the genre as a whole because the books that get big (epic/high/etc) and become a hit with my friends just aren’t for me. (My most recent exception is Holly Black’s The Cruel Prince which sucked me wholly and completely—I mean that execution of enemies-to-lovers? Goddamn.)
So it’s interesting for the comfort villain WIP because there are parts that are easy and exciting for me to get down, and there are parts that feel like climbing a mountain (without gear, in the middle of the night, in the midst of a storm.)
I’ve written basically all the MC-villain scenes, their interactions, etc. That’s the easiest for me to get down. That’s also where some of the snippets I posted on Twitter and TikTok come from. For some of you, this might be new, so I hope you enjoy⬇️
Also, I love the villain/love interest.
All the books I’ve written before have been contemporary so I feel comfortable gauging how good my writing is for those. For my fantasies, I’m constantly oscillating between “oh, I love this” and “birukti, are you dumb? this is ass.” But even when I’m going through this uncertainty, I am sure of my villain/LI, and sure he’s going to be the biggest hit with readers.
What I’m missing right now is the magic system and world building. It’s written but pretty basic or weak. And that is…a big part of fantasy, so.
I have a lot of work to do on the book, and my writing for it comes in bursts so it’s not something I sit down daily, or even weekly, to do. I should give myself a timeline, I know. Sigh.
The reason I’m not rushing is because I have two books on submission to editors right now, and both are YA so this WIP wouldn’t be able to go out until the other two are either (*crossing fingers*) bought or (*cries) shelved.
Still, maybe I should tackle it for NaNoWriMo…
reading & roaring with praise
Friend Book Of The Month:
THE FRAUD SQUAD by Kyla Zhao: Think Crazy Rich Asians x Devil Wears Prada. High society, high fashion, and high stakes. Releasing Jan 17, 2023 and asdkjashdf, the day can’t come fast enough.
Finished:
NEVER LET ME GO by Kazuo Ishiguro…and holyfrickingmoly. It’s officially my favorite book. Of all time. (Before that it’d been The Vanishing Half, which I still really love). Anyways, I finished this in the span of 24 hours (which, aside from romance books, hasn’t happened in years). And I just sat there, kind of gasping. If you’re interested in reading it, please don’t look at reviews or summaries before you do (back synopsis is fine). Jump in blind.
THE BALLAD OF BLACK TOM by Victor LaValle. This was an assigned novella for my myths & retelling creative writing class because it’s a retelling of H.P Lovecraft. I read it early last week, and for a while before then, I’d been in a weird writing/reading/life rut. It didn’t fix everything, but I did finish it in 2 hours and spent a good five minutes just whispering “wow” to myself in bed.
Current reading:
A LITTLE LIFE by Hanya Yanagihara. It’s about 800 pages, and I’m only 170 pages through. The writing is lovely, if a bit burdening, but I can already feel the heaviness of the book setting in, so I’m trying to read in times when I know I can handle it. I’m mentally preparing myself to weep and weep, and to be honest, I’m looking forward to it a little. Also, Hanya named one of her favorite authors Kazuo Ishiguro so like…I think this is fate.
WE HUNT THE FLAME by Hafsah Faizal. I'd gotten it from the bookstore a few months ago, and I’m finally picking it up! It’s mostly as research for my Ethiopian fantasy WIP, and so far, so good.
That’s all for now, friend. I hope you enjoyed your stay in my humble café. Have a lovely rest of your September, and I hope to see you soon.
With all my love,
Birukti
I love orange juice